I Come By My Opinions Honestly

I come by my opinions honestly. I mean that to say that I have formed them through experience but also that I am honest when they change and I freely admit when I was wrong. This may be harsh but I consider it the mark of the stupid person to resist considering how they may have been wrong or not admit when they are. Likewise, to be embarrassed about past opinions that one has changed from is a sign of deep insecurity and lack of self integration. Let me explain.

In my career teaching knife making, I have developed many trite sayings that are nonetheless true, like “You can always take more off but you can’t put it back” or “If you’re going to be dumb then you better be tough.” In the forging process, I like to say a version of this: “When you forge a blade, start with a plan and execute that design to the best of your abilities. It is much more difficult to produce a specific result. Don’t say ‘I just let the forging process tell me how the blade will come out’ or some variation of that.” I’ll even reference the TV show Forged in Fire as many of the makers say something similar during interviews. The process doesn’t forge the blade, you do. Those that claim they are letting creativity lead them are usually just incapable of producing consistent results.   

Ok, that is what I say as an instructor for two reasons. One is that I need to encourage students to be intentional about the learning process and not give themselves excuses. Secondly, I wholeheartedly believe it. The only problem is that there is video footage of me saying the classic “I just let the forging process take me in the direction that the knife wants to go.” A friend sent me the video from Forged in Fire Season 2 the other day, knowing that I like to say the opposite. He had a good chuckle over it and I had a few moments with my head in my hands but then I realized that it makes perfect sense. 

When I went on Forged in Fire, I had been making stock removal knives but had almost no forging experience. I didn’t even know enough to wait and try on a later season because I had the confidence of the novice and the zeal of the recently converted. I didn’t actually have the skill to produce exactly what I wanted so going with the flow was my only option. Another way of looking at this is that as we get older we look back at our past selves and see a completely different person. I think this is more literal that we realize as our thought patterns and beliefs change over time and our bodies are in a constant state of change both at the macro and microscopic level. We are looking at a truly different person when we consider our past selves. So I am indeed referring to someone else when I talk about what inexperienced contestants on Forged in Fire say.

I am totally willing to admit that the other person was just me in the past because I view myself then as an older brother or uncle would. I think of my own boys now and how proud I am of them even though they can act dumb sometimes and how much I will always love them no matter how they turn out. With this in mind, it really pains me to see friends and family not come to peace with who they were in the past. I truly believe we must integrate all versions of ourselves, dark and light side, young and old to be complete. I’ll end with an imperfect analogy.

Sometimes when I carry a heavy burden, say 50 pounds, I will think “this is what someone 50 pounds heavier than me is dealing with every day.” Obviously when that same weight is part of a person's body it doesn’t feel the same as a burden of the same weight but I think this applies. Carrying a psychological or emotional burden is as exhausting as carrying that extra weight but integrating the burden to be a balanced part of ourselves builds us into a larger and stronger being. Even serious past trauma can be turned into Post Traumatic Growth when intentionally and voluntarily integrated into the self. If this can be true for some of the most difficult human experiences than it can be true of our opinions.